When Intimacy Doesn"t Come Around
What do you do when you've been in a relationship for quite some time but that deep intimate connection that you crave just doesn't surface? This is a confusing issue, especially if you think you are falling in love or at least care about this person a lot. You are wondering why the intimacy isn't there when you have such deep emotions.
In this situation it is very important not to blame yourself. It's easy to start thinking that there must be something wrong with you or that they may be feeling the intimacy but you are missing the connection. There is nothing wrong with you or the other person.
Things just aren't clicking on that level yet for some reason.
This doesn't mean that deep intimate connection won't surface in the future. It doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed to go nowhere. It just means that the intimacy hasn't come around just yet.
One-Sided Emotion
In some cases, the lack of intimacy can be a result of one person having deeper emotions in the relationship than the other. When one person is feeling passionate but the other is not, there can be some awkwardness when it comes to intimate situations. This is especially true in situations where sex is involved.
If you know that your emotions are there and you have been seeing this person long enough to have a serious conversation, it may be time to hint around about what they may be feeling. Try to figure out if they are just not to the point of deep emotion like you are.
Self Esteem Issues
Intimacy can also be interrupted or stifled if one person is lacking in the self esteem department. If one person is uncomfortable with their body or unsure of themselves when it comes to intimate physical contact, they may pull away or try to avoid these encounters.
This doesn't mean they don't love you or aren't interested in intimacy and sexual relationships. It just means they aren't quite comfortable with themselves and are trying to get up the nerve to allow these things to happen. They may have deep seated fears of being rejected or abandoned after getting intimately involved with someone.
This could have nothing to do with you at all!
The good news is these issues often work themselves out as the relationship progresses and more intimate encounters are experienced. Gradually those walls will come down and they will start trusting you more and more.
The secret here is to be patient and understanding if you think this is what's happening with someone you love. Don't take it personally if they seem to be retreating as you move in closer.
Making the Effort
If you want deeper intimacy with that special person, make the effort to really show them how you feel. Do small things that show you care for them even when you aren't in the bedroom.
This can be as simple as opening doors for them and carrying in groceries when they get home from the store. It could be babysitting so they can take some time for themselves or giving them a cheap gag gift that shows you have been listening when they talk.
Try to create insider secrets and jokes so there is a sense of deep personal connection between the two of you. Let the relationship evolve and the intimacy should come.
In this situation it is very important not to blame yourself. It's easy to start thinking that there must be something wrong with you or that they may be feeling the intimacy but you are missing the connection. There is nothing wrong with you or the other person.
Things just aren't clicking on that level yet for some reason.
This doesn't mean that deep intimate connection won't surface in the future. It doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed to go nowhere. It just means that the intimacy hasn't come around just yet.
One-Sided Emotion
In some cases, the lack of intimacy can be a result of one person having deeper emotions in the relationship than the other. When one person is feeling passionate but the other is not, there can be some awkwardness when it comes to intimate situations. This is especially true in situations where sex is involved.
If you know that your emotions are there and you have been seeing this person long enough to have a serious conversation, it may be time to hint around about what they may be feeling. Try to figure out if they are just not to the point of deep emotion like you are.
Self Esteem Issues
Intimacy can also be interrupted or stifled if one person is lacking in the self esteem department. If one person is uncomfortable with their body or unsure of themselves when it comes to intimate physical contact, they may pull away or try to avoid these encounters.
This doesn't mean they don't love you or aren't interested in intimacy and sexual relationships. It just means they aren't quite comfortable with themselves and are trying to get up the nerve to allow these things to happen. They may have deep seated fears of being rejected or abandoned after getting intimately involved with someone.
This could have nothing to do with you at all!
The good news is these issues often work themselves out as the relationship progresses and more intimate encounters are experienced. Gradually those walls will come down and they will start trusting you more and more.
The secret here is to be patient and understanding if you think this is what's happening with someone you love. Don't take it personally if they seem to be retreating as you move in closer.
Making the Effort
If you want deeper intimacy with that special person, make the effort to really show them how you feel. Do small things that show you care for them even when you aren't in the bedroom.
This can be as simple as opening doors for them and carrying in groceries when they get home from the store. It could be babysitting so they can take some time for themselves or giving them a cheap gag gift that shows you have been listening when they talk.
Try to create insider secrets and jokes so there is a sense of deep personal connection between the two of you. Let the relationship evolve and the intimacy should come.