Tips on Maintaining Intimacy after Ostomy
Maintaining intimacy is hard enough in the normal, everyday sense, without the little issue called ostomy. Having ostomy may change the way that you deal with intimacy, however, ostomy does not have to mean a stop or decrease in intimacy.
Ostomates often feel self-conscious about their bodies after ostomy, and this is the primary hindrance to opening up to intimacy with their partners. Psychological issues such as the fear of rejection, fear of dysfunction or the sense of "what if it's not the same?" also contributes to the sense of dejection.
Of course, your body will need time to heal before you can actually be fully intimate with your partner again. You can use this time to build your intimacy with your partner in a non-sexual way. Go on strolls, hand-in-hand. Or do the things that you used to do before work and family got in the way, like watching a movie, or a dinner date. Talk to your partner about your fears and help each other through it: remember that you are not the only one who needs help adjusting to the situation. At the end of the day, you can be each other's strongest bridge to restoring intimacy in the relationship.
When you both decide it's time to resume sexual relations, take the time to prepare yourself for the act. Clean out your ostomy pouch and make sure that your barrier is secure so you would not feel so insecure about leakage. If you are feeling self conscious about seeing your ostomy bag, you may conceal it with a pouch cover which can be easily purchased online. Or better yet, invest in a high-quality, natural feeling ostomy bag such as Cymed, and its signature MicroSkin barriers with a texture that feels just like human skin.
You may find that some of your sexual habits might have to change, for instance positions that apply pressure on your ostomy bag are best avoided. You and your partner might want to consider other techniques. You'll never know, but there might actually be intimacy benefits to come from your ostomy!
For single ostomates who are looking to resume dating after their surgery, there is the quandary as to when they should tell the people they are dating about their ostomy. When you choose to disclose it is up to you, but it is best if the matter is opened up and discussed before the sexual act to avoid an unsavory scenario on the spot. There are people who will not mind that you had ostomy at all, but the issue might be more about how honest you were with them in the first place.
Whether you're partnered up or are looking into being intimate with a new person in your life, know that communication—and an open mind—is key in restoring intimacy after ostomy.
Copyright @ StomaBags
http://www.StomaBags.com
Ostomates often feel self-conscious about their bodies after ostomy, and this is the primary hindrance to opening up to intimacy with their partners. Psychological issues such as the fear of rejection, fear of dysfunction or the sense of "what if it's not the same?" also contributes to the sense of dejection.
Of course, your body will need time to heal before you can actually be fully intimate with your partner again. You can use this time to build your intimacy with your partner in a non-sexual way. Go on strolls, hand-in-hand. Or do the things that you used to do before work and family got in the way, like watching a movie, or a dinner date. Talk to your partner about your fears and help each other through it: remember that you are not the only one who needs help adjusting to the situation. At the end of the day, you can be each other's strongest bridge to restoring intimacy in the relationship.
When you both decide it's time to resume sexual relations, take the time to prepare yourself for the act. Clean out your ostomy pouch and make sure that your barrier is secure so you would not feel so insecure about leakage. If you are feeling self conscious about seeing your ostomy bag, you may conceal it with a pouch cover which can be easily purchased online. Or better yet, invest in a high-quality, natural feeling ostomy bag such as Cymed, and its signature MicroSkin barriers with a texture that feels just like human skin.
You may find that some of your sexual habits might have to change, for instance positions that apply pressure on your ostomy bag are best avoided. You and your partner might want to consider other techniques. You'll never know, but there might actually be intimacy benefits to come from your ostomy!
For single ostomates who are looking to resume dating after their surgery, there is the quandary as to when they should tell the people they are dating about their ostomy. When you choose to disclose it is up to you, but it is best if the matter is opened up and discussed before the sexual act to avoid an unsavory scenario on the spot. There are people who will not mind that you had ostomy at all, but the issue might be more about how honest you were with them in the first place.
Whether you're partnered up or are looking into being intimate with a new person in your life, know that communication—and an open mind—is key in restoring intimacy after ostomy.
Copyright @ StomaBags
http://www.StomaBags.com