Everyone thinks that wedding ceremonies are simply wild celebrations of a moment in time.
And you can use them that way, but why waste the energy and the opportunity? Your wedding ceremony offers you a perhaps once in a lifetime chance to take stock of the past, revel in the present and look forward to the future.
If you create ritual time to look back and look forward, everyone will listen.
And it needs to be ritual time.
You can't do this at dinner.
You won't take it seriously and they won't take it seriously.
(How many announcements have you made at dinner that have been met with "that's nice, dear?") It is very easy to blast past this at your wedding.
You want to have a great party.
The wedding business is geared to help you do that.
But more than you want a great wedding, you want your marriage to succeed.
That means that you want to take the time to examine

• How did you get here? What's the story of your romance? At what point did you know that this person was someone that it made both romantic and logical sense to move forward with? What values and characteristics do you share that will make this marriage a successful endeavor? Where are your strengths shared and where are they complementary.
  
• Where is here, exactly? OK, you're standing here on the precipice of your new life.
  What does that mean exactly? This can be as simple as standing here with the person with whom I am committed to journey with through life, in the midst of my friends in the heart of (the forest, the city, the small town) that I love so well.
  If there are children or elderly parents or different traditions you're incorporating into your life at this point, it's good to talk about that at your wedding.
  
• Where are you going? What are your intentions for this marriage? This is also your wedding vows, but fundamentally, I think this is an opportunity for each of you to acknowledge the life you envision and hope for.
  

A public wedding ceremony is your opportunity to say to your entire community what is important to you and what you intend to do with the rest of your life.
If you are open and honest during the ceremony, your community's support will be overwhelming.
People want you to have what you want.
But you need to tell them what that is, or they'll be hoping for the wrong things for you.
Your wedding ceremony is one of your best chances to create the marriage that you want.
Are you willing to sit down and do the work to create a ceremony that will flow into the celebration you're longing for and will layout your blueprint for your successful life.
Your celebrant should be willing to help you do this if it feels to confusing to work through on your own.
But the original questions, how did we get here and where are we going you can begin to answer as soon as you stop reading!