When we give with our hearts and our hand isn't waiting for something in return, it is the greatest gift we can bestow upon another and receive for ourselves.

You may not be aware of it, but sometimes behind your good deed is a hidden agenda of wanting or waiting to receive something back.

Perhaps when you help someone, say a kind word, befriend, give or offer something, you may want to be thanked, appreciated, your palm crossed with silver so to speak, or your ego to be stroked.

You might feel wounded, rejected, hurt, angry, resentful, taken for granted, and even spiteful when someone doesn't return the favour or do something for you.

You may believe they owe you, or you have helped them out so many times and they never repay you, or they only see or talk to you when things aren't going well for them, or they need something from you.

But what about all that you do? Shouldn't you at least be acknowledged for all your efforts, actions, and kindness?

I hear people time and time again saying things like, "All I want is a thank you, or to be appreciated, or I did this for them so why aren't they doing this for me, or they should recognize how much I do, how much I've helped, or how much I have given to them".

Ah…your ego is hard at work trying to get you to believe that SOMEONE should do something in return for you! You're right, someone should, and that someone is you.

Yes, it's nice to hear words of thanks, or a show of appreciation, or to be there when you need help, but that doesn't mean it will happen; and if you are expecting it to, you might find yourself feeling disappointed, angry or let down.

If a person does something or says something kind to or for you, as the movie or novel says, "Pay it Forward".

If you haven't seen the movie or read the book, it's absolutely inspiring and really shows you how to give with an open heart, not with an open hand.

So how can you stop the part of you that wants or expects something back?

Before you do something for someone, do a quick check in. Ask yourself if you are expecting, hoping, or wanting something in return now or in the future.

Acknowledge that you might desire something from this person, consciously or unconsciously. If so, what might it be?

Is it possible for you to give that to yourself even if you think someone should be doing it for you?

If you find yourself wishing somebody would buy something for you, say a kind word, or help you, do what you would like to receive from them for yourself, and maybe you can also find a person you can pass on the good deed to as well.

Easier said than done? Sometimes it might be, depending on how needy your ego is at the time.

When you remind yourself to give from your heart, your ego is less likely to have your hand out wanting something in return.

You come from the greatest source of giving; ask yourself how would God want me to give to this person in this situation?

Don't be upset with yourself if you find your imaginary hand is outstretched waiting for something. Rather, recognize what it is you would like, imagine it in your hand and then pay it forward.

Kahlil Gibran said, "You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give".

Are you giving open-handed, or with your hand opened?

You can use these techniques with insight to assist you in how you are giving open-handed or with your hand opened.