Hope you are all in best of health and enjoying life.

Just to let you all know, I am separated from my husband from 12-Sept-08 and have initiated divorce procedure expecting results within 6 months

Shocked!!, is it?? The reasons are:

a) Bleak or rather no husband-wife relation between me and Sanjay.

b) Its was sheer case of cheating since my in-laws told us that Sanjay was working in StanChart Bank, we checked with couple of the people who we could rely on, who gave a feedback that he was an absolute gem.

Post marriage when i demanded a locker, did we discover that he was working for StanChart Finance Ltd which was a subsidiary of the Bank. To our horror, he was not on Bank's pay rolls and even horrendous is the fact that he was not given promotions / increments for consecutive 5 years

c) His Psychatric problem - he has a severe problem where he keeps speaking to himself. Sometimes he become so violent. The examples are - In a fight with his mother, he has fractured her finger which is damaged permanently, kicked his father. Earlier he had reaped off the flesh out from her ring finger with his nails. I was fortunate enough to witness only these two instances. Bcoz of a strong family support they never dared to touch me.

d) No support - Mental, Physical, Social.......... and the list goes on.

e) Underconfidence and Laziness - Hez not interested in working, he says people are jealous of him. He doesnt have the confidence to confront the customer.... Neither does he wish to improve. Since I got married, we have had n number of fights where mostly the end result was "i am not going to office from tomorrow, I'll search another job and try my hand at business."

f) Jealously - He couldn't withstand my progress, he wanted that we should be progressing in our lives parallely!!!!!!!!!!

g) Low IQ - Same topics, same discussion everyday. Decisions, if any, were always my baby. He was just implementing them. Normally on weekends, when we were at home (sometimes just us), if i was in bedroom, hez in the hall either watching TV or goes out to play in a cybercafe.. At job, in classrooms trainings, he said he would just go blank when asked what was being taught.

h) Earlier when we would fight he would say "Go to your Father's place".

Now the same request has been repeatedly put forward as "I am not the right person, I admit you have been cheated. I understand you are not happy and we have messed up your life. You are free to take your own decision and go back and I shall abide by what you say". Even the inlaws have time and again accepted that they had deceived us and they are responsible to ruin my life.

Sad to know above is it???, What next for me?? Why did I prolong this relationship for so long and got myself now a social stigma called "Divorce"?????

Answers are:
Basically he was God - fearing, clean character and had no Vices and hence I tried my level best to give him a chance. I enrolled him in English speaking & personality development classes, we saw a psychiatrist.

He was much better in 2008 than 2007, our fights had reduced and hence I was just wanting to continue and check out if ever one day I could experience what a "Happy Married Life" was all about!!!!

But now with the advise of the psychatrist, family, frens and even astrologers, I need to take a decision!!!! Sooner the better. As it is these 17 months are wasted.

I am immensely blessed to have a extremely supporting family whose as willing to accept me back as ever with full happiness. They say - Gone is History, start afresh, today is the right day and U can do it and not just Do it but can work wonders!!!

For Future - I have enrolled myself into an MBA with specialisation in HR from ICFAI Institute which will be 2 years. With some confidence and guts still existing in me, thanks to support of family and my close frens, I shall complete MBA by 2011. I might go in for further studies even after this. God alone knows!!!!!!!

Today while drafting this article, I thot i would have tears in my eyes, trembling hands typing and ashmed of myself of "what would the society think? and how can I survive now?".

But believe me I today discovered I am much stronger than i think.!!! Again all credit to the advices, support, care of family and close frens.

I am a bit upset and feeling a bit low, thats it!!! I am feeling none of the above symptons which I think is great incase I dont wish to keep brooding and crying over the spilt milk.

I think it was in Destiny and it had to happen. I am 100% sure God has much much better plans for me and everything happens for good. And especially this happened this year when I had done everything myself at Ganesh Chaturthi - right from getting the "Ganesh" idol to Visarjan, I had the privilege to do everything all by myself.

Future Plans:
I will get my divorce certificate on 6-Apr-09. I also plan to get married by 2010 – 11.

Deep in my heart, I have confidence and belief that whatever happened was for my better life ahead, there is nothing to worry!!!