What Is Anxiety?
Anxiety is a total transformation of mind and body that one cannot fully understand unless they have experienced it themselves.
I cannot even totally equate anxiety with extreme nervousness.
I have been extremely nervous on many occasions in my life, but I was at least still able to maintain a sense of clarity and sanity on those occasions.
It was not until my first panic attack in 2003 that I had my first encounter with true anxiety.
I had just graduated from college and was on a road trip to North Carolina with some friends.
For some reason I was feeling uneasy on the way up, but nothing more.
Nothing more until the night we arrived and I had the most terrifying experience of my life.
Out of nowhere I began to feel a sense of dread and terror that I had never felt before.
My heart was pounding and I was sweating profusely.
My thoughts were racing uncontrollably and I was hyperventilating.
"I'm having a heart attack" I thought to myself, "I'm going to die!" After ten minutes of this terrible experience I became exhausted and the terror subsided.
But I still remained incredibly confused and scared.
"What happened?" I asked myself, "Did I just have a heart attack?"; "Am I losing my mind?" Unfortunately these questions would go unanswered for the rest of the week.
I was too afraid of sharing this experience with any of my friends on the trip.
Due to my confusion and fear, the rest of my week was a constant anxiety attack.
Not a panic attack, but an anxiety attack.
My mind was not working as it had for the first twenty two years of my life.
I was certain that I had brain damage.
I felt as if another force had taken over my mind and body, and that force was not me.
My brain was not working properly, almost frozen.
I was petrified to engage in any conversation because I feared that I wouldn't be able to access a thought to respond with.
I also feared that I may say something completely off the wall or inappropriate.
I physically perceived myself moving in slow motion relative to everyone and everything around me.
For the entire week I hardly said a word.
My entire focus was on trying to appear somewhat normal outwardly, all the while I was feeling completely insane and out of control inwardly.
Needless to say it was the longest week of my life.
I cannot even totally equate anxiety with extreme nervousness.
I have been extremely nervous on many occasions in my life, but I was at least still able to maintain a sense of clarity and sanity on those occasions.
It was not until my first panic attack in 2003 that I had my first encounter with true anxiety.
I had just graduated from college and was on a road trip to North Carolina with some friends.
For some reason I was feeling uneasy on the way up, but nothing more.
Nothing more until the night we arrived and I had the most terrifying experience of my life.
Out of nowhere I began to feel a sense of dread and terror that I had never felt before.
My heart was pounding and I was sweating profusely.
My thoughts were racing uncontrollably and I was hyperventilating.
"I'm having a heart attack" I thought to myself, "I'm going to die!" After ten minutes of this terrible experience I became exhausted and the terror subsided.
But I still remained incredibly confused and scared.
"What happened?" I asked myself, "Did I just have a heart attack?"; "Am I losing my mind?" Unfortunately these questions would go unanswered for the rest of the week.
I was too afraid of sharing this experience with any of my friends on the trip.
Due to my confusion and fear, the rest of my week was a constant anxiety attack.
Not a panic attack, but an anxiety attack.
My mind was not working as it had for the first twenty two years of my life.
I was certain that I had brain damage.
I felt as if another force had taken over my mind and body, and that force was not me.
My brain was not working properly, almost frozen.
I was petrified to engage in any conversation because I feared that I wouldn't be able to access a thought to respond with.
I also feared that I may say something completely off the wall or inappropriate.
I physically perceived myself moving in slow motion relative to everyone and everything around me.
For the entire week I hardly said a word.
My entire focus was on trying to appear somewhat normal outwardly, all the while I was feeling completely insane and out of control inwardly.
Needless to say it was the longest week of my life.