How To Repair A Broken Relationship - Fix It in Three Steps
You can always tell when things aren't going right, but not that many people know how to repair a broken relationship.
This is tricky, but there are some proven methods that always work, no matter who you are.
First of all, start fast.
Your relationship can go from bad to worse faster than you'd believe.
The first step is to decide to fix it.
Make the commitment to making it right, and you've already made the first step.
Step 1 - Find The Root Of The Problem For every battered relationship, there's something that's been going wrong for a while.
If you can find that one thing, you'll know your enemy.
It could be that one or both of you have stopped trying.
Relationships take continual work and effort to keep them good.
It could be that some kind of life changes are getting in the way.
Maybe one of you has moved forward in their lives and the other hasn't.
One of you gets too busy with their new work situation or activities, and they forget to pay attention to their partner.
And I'm going to tell you right now, it could be the guy who's not getting the attention.
It's not always the woman.
Maybe you've become judgmental with each other over time.
When we first meet, we naturally think wonderful things about each other.
But over time, as you grow closer, it gets easier to start judging each other.
Those things you found cool at first may start to look silly.
It could be cheating, but cheating is always a symptom, not a root cause.
Look for the reason behind the cheating.
Maybe it's lost its spark or it's gotten boring.
The reason for the problem can be one of many things.
Step 2 - Deal With It Head-On Now that you've found your reasons, you've got to deal with them head-on.
Confront them with honesty.
This might bring out some ugly feelings or some nasty things from the past.
If so, so be it.
If you're committed to making this work, you've got to lay it all out on the table.
Nobody said it was easy.
This part of the process can be tough, because we're all used to bottling things up and keeping things inside.
It may be hard to face things from the past.
But once you've gotten the reasons out in the open, now you're on your way to fixing them.
Step 3 - Work Them Out With Your Partner Here, the "with your partner" is the most important part.
A relationship is a bond between two people, and both people have to be happy for it to work.
The "with" also means that you're in charge of it.
It's both of yours.
Keep this in mind when you're working it out.
What you need here is total communication.
Once you've gotten to this step, you've been through the worst of it.
If you have trouble communicating, this can be fixed easily.
Most of us aren't great communicators, but if you've got the reason figured out and the commitment to dealing with it, communication skills can be learned.
During the whole process, avoid blaming your partner.
Maybe they've done something bad in the past, that's fine.
Instead of building up anger and resentment against them, try forgiving them.
The power of forgiveness is pretty awesome, and it works wonders when you're trying to fix a relationship.
If it turns into an argument, that's alright.
You need to work it all out and not hold anything back.
But, never leave off on an angry note.
Never go to bed angry.
When it's time to stop, call a "truce" or do whatever you need to do so that you won't be seething about it.
Remember that whatever doesn't kill a relationship makes it stronger.
After the whole process of fixing a relationship, even if it involves some ugliness and arguing, your relationship will be stronger and healthier than it's ever been before.
This is tricky, but there are some proven methods that always work, no matter who you are.
First of all, start fast.
Your relationship can go from bad to worse faster than you'd believe.
The first step is to decide to fix it.
Make the commitment to making it right, and you've already made the first step.
Step 1 - Find The Root Of The Problem For every battered relationship, there's something that's been going wrong for a while.
If you can find that one thing, you'll know your enemy.
It could be that one or both of you have stopped trying.
Relationships take continual work and effort to keep them good.
It could be that some kind of life changes are getting in the way.
Maybe one of you has moved forward in their lives and the other hasn't.
One of you gets too busy with their new work situation or activities, and they forget to pay attention to their partner.
And I'm going to tell you right now, it could be the guy who's not getting the attention.
It's not always the woman.
Maybe you've become judgmental with each other over time.
When we first meet, we naturally think wonderful things about each other.
But over time, as you grow closer, it gets easier to start judging each other.
Those things you found cool at first may start to look silly.
It could be cheating, but cheating is always a symptom, not a root cause.
Look for the reason behind the cheating.
Maybe it's lost its spark or it's gotten boring.
The reason for the problem can be one of many things.
Step 2 - Deal With It Head-On Now that you've found your reasons, you've got to deal with them head-on.
Confront them with honesty.
This might bring out some ugly feelings or some nasty things from the past.
If so, so be it.
If you're committed to making this work, you've got to lay it all out on the table.
Nobody said it was easy.
This part of the process can be tough, because we're all used to bottling things up and keeping things inside.
It may be hard to face things from the past.
But once you've gotten the reasons out in the open, now you're on your way to fixing them.
Step 3 - Work Them Out With Your Partner Here, the "with your partner" is the most important part.
A relationship is a bond between two people, and both people have to be happy for it to work.
The "with" also means that you're in charge of it.
It's both of yours.
Keep this in mind when you're working it out.
What you need here is total communication.
Once you've gotten to this step, you've been through the worst of it.
If you have trouble communicating, this can be fixed easily.
Most of us aren't great communicators, but if you've got the reason figured out and the commitment to dealing with it, communication skills can be learned.
During the whole process, avoid blaming your partner.
Maybe they've done something bad in the past, that's fine.
Instead of building up anger and resentment against them, try forgiving them.
The power of forgiveness is pretty awesome, and it works wonders when you're trying to fix a relationship.
If it turns into an argument, that's alright.
You need to work it all out and not hold anything back.
But, never leave off on an angry note.
Never go to bed angry.
When it's time to stop, call a "truce" or do whatever you need to do so that you won't be seething about it.
Remember that whatever doesn't kill a relationship makes it stronger.
After the whole process of fixing a relationship, even if it involves some ugliness and arguing, your relationship will be stronger and healthier than it's ever been before.