What You Say Really Does Matter!
I'm sure you know the old saying, 'Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.
" In my experience and those of my clients, family and friends, names most certainly do hurt and sometimes that hurt lasts a lifetime, whereas bones heal, mend and in most circumstances are fully capable of being strengthened to their original uses.
The heart and the mind on the other hand take a far more serious and lasting approach to the spoken word.
Quite naturally and organically with no effort at all we willingly give and receive words hundreds and thousands of times a day.
We hold the free choice and free will to speak in any way we like, with thought, or without thought.
This day will you choose to uplift and inspire through your words, and disallow negativity and projections that come to you from others by detaching and shielding words spoken that are out of your control? Or this day will you choose to lash out at others without thought because you're having a difficult or stressful day and receive whatever people say to you as being truth set in stone whether good or bad? It's all about choice and self-awareness.
If you are aware of yourself, and if you know you have a choice to speak, when you speak, and how you speak, what you say and what you do not say, your life can take on a rich and powerful meaning all because you recognize that what you say really does matter.
You could look at it this way.
It's far easier to speak without thinking and then your monkey mind will play and replay all kinds of guilt, regret, or what you could have, should have or would have said to get different results.
Hey, it is what it is.
Or you could look at it this way.
It's far easier to take a deep breath before you speak and then speak from your heart, centered and aware of the importance of words, and then your monkey mind will be quiet, clear and settled.
Deep breathing is good.
How often during the day are you aware that with just one or two simple slow deep breaths that take literally seconds, you can calm your nervous system, oxygenate your blood and relieve stress in that moment.
And say with dignity and grace what it is you really want to say.
Hey, it is what it is.
We are brilliant human beings with so much capability to enhance and enlighten our world around us by the words we use, even in our quiet times when it's just us thinking to ourselves as we drive, shower, bathe, lay to sleep, take a walk, or otherwise experience life without media or technology of any kind.
How do you speak to yourself? What words do you use when you say stuff about your body? What words come to mind right now as you take a breath and think about someone who really hurt you recently? Hey, we all feel at times angry and use words to fully express that anger when we've been wronged, betrayed, deeply disappointed and saddened by someone.
The trick is to express, expel, release and rebound in a healthy way that moves through the negative emotion without hurting our selves or anyone else.
Because we're human we're complicated creatures.
Oh sure, at our core, and in our essential nature we're quite simple, but that's another article! Suffice to say that to get to that simplicity of nature, because we're a rather dense planet not completely filled with the light of higher vibratory energies, we need to go through the emotional spectrum as a way to gage how we're feeling about something or someone.
And as a way of knowing how our life is going, what's working for us or what's not working.
So I'm advocating choice and self-awareness, because if we choose to be alert and discerning with our words, we can literally shift our lives for the better right here and right now.
Without even changing or altering your circumstances, you can realistically shift your perception on a given experience by choosing the way to think about it that serves you better, and consequently, feel better.
And when you feel better, you attract better circumstances to you.
Try it.
Try to think of a situation you're living now that doesn't feel so great, and flip it around, change it up, shake it loose so you can put a different spin on it using different words to express to yourself the lessons you're learning, the gifts you're receiving from it that help show you the contrast of what you really want.
It's actually a really cool way of learning to make a habit out of speaking nicely to your self and others.
And as my Mum always said to my sisters and I growing up, 'If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.
" It's not about pinching off your feelings, I took it to mean try and find a way to say something nice because then I'll feel better and so will the other person.
It's a non -confrontational and peaceful way of relating to everyone.
Well I took her words to heart, literally, and have always tried to say nice things unless there's nothing nice to say and then I quite enjoy the quiet that comes from saying nothing.
Over the years as a result, I've become quite an excellent very active listener, and have learned so much! Such a good listener that my clients often ask me if I'm still there on the other end of the phone it's so quiet and I'm not interrupting.
I'm not compelled to say, um hum, yes, go on, oh yeah, giggle or otherwise fill the little spaces when they come up for air between sharing's, I just plain listen.
It's an art form I believe, because we're unaccustomed to being still inside ourselves and comfortable enough to allow another their full range of expression without even thinking of what we'll say next or how to respond.
Trusting that we're wise and knowing creatures and through all our life's experiences to date no matter how old or young we are, will have at the tip of our mind and on the edge of our tongue the appropriate response because we're out of judgment and living from the inside out.
Now that's the power of words! Words that are spoken and words that are unspoken.
I have the opportunity every single day of my life to practice what I preach.
With clients I could choose to be harsh and hold them accountable for our joy work together in ways that push and surge them onwards towards their goals.
That's not my way because I find it too full of effort.
So I choose to inspire and surprise them with unique and creative ways of looking at their circumstances to the point where they often are drawn to their own ways of seeing, doing and being their best, solving a dilemma or expressing a place where they feel stuck with me as their witness.
With my daughter I could respond in the same way she speaks to me at times when she's not feeling her best or is frustrated with her website, her friends inability to live outside the box as she does, or with any number of little annoyances she experiences from time to time.
When she's in this state it's not her dad or brother she speaks harshly to, it's me.
Of course! And again I have a golden opportunity to either say nothing, rise up and go make us a cup of tea so I'm out of the line of fire so to speak, or look for the gift in the moment rather than feel the stings of her words too deeply.
The gift is that I am her soft place to fall, to project onto and to feel her way to a better place within, so she can get on with her life.
Oh it hurts because I'm only human, and sometimes I find myself saying, 'that's not nice sweety, can you be more kind, that really hurt".
Or I may shake my head and lightly say what a bitchy thing to say to me.
She inevitably just laughs and says something else, but because I don't meet her in that same place of tit for tat, the moment passes, I am inspired to go do a few more side crunches if she's commented on a little extra fat, and next thing I know she's enjoying one of the cats or pups with a new found happiness.
And it was easier for me not to push upstream, rather to let go and allow the space for something else.
There's enough tough stuff I have on my plate that I don't need to create heaviness or add to the drama of her moments.
Because they're her moments! I'm just a willing actress that plays a role in her life movie! I could go on by offering you a variety of times and people I get to practice what I preach about the power, presence and profound impact of words, but I know you get the picture! If you can find that place within where you are confident in who you are and can live lightly without attachment as much as possible, then you'll quiet effortlessly choose your words with care.
After awhile it becomes quite natural to simply be this way.
And you'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what you say really does matter!
" In my experience and those of my clients, family and friends, names most certainly do hurt and sometimes that hurt lasts a lifetime, whereas bones heal, mend and in most circumstances are fully capable of being strengthened to their original uses.
The heart and the mind on the other hand take a far more serious and lasting approach to the spoken word.
Quite naturally and organically with no effort at all we willingly give and receive words hundreds and thousands of times a day.
We hold the free choice and free will to speak in any way we like, with thought, or without thought.
This day will you choose to uplift and inspire through your words, and disallow negativity and projections that come to you from others by detaching and shielding words spoken that are out of your control? Or this day will you choose to lash out at others without thought because you're having a difficult or stressful day and receive whatever people say to you as being truth set in stone whether good or bad? It's all about choice and self-awareness.
If you are aware of yourself, and if you know you have a choice to speak, when you speak, and how you speak, what you say and what you do not say, your life can take on a rich and powerful meaning all because you recognize that what you say really does matter.
You could look at it this way.
It's far easier to speak without thinking and then your monkey mind will play and replay all kinds of guilt, regret, or what you could have, should have or would have said to get different results.
Hey, it is what it is.
Or you could look at it this way.
It's far easier to take a deep breath before you speak and then speak from your heart, centered and aware of the importance of words, and then your monkey mind will be quiet, clear and settled.
Deep breathing is good.
How often during the day are you aware that with just one or two simple slow deep breaths that take literally seconds, you can calm your nervous system, oxygenate your blood and relieve stress in that moment.
And say with dignity and grace what it is you really want to say.
Hey, it is what it is.
We are brilliant human beings with so much capability to enhance and enlighten our world around us by the words we use, even in our quiet times when it's just us thinking to ourselves as we drive, shower, bathe, lay to sleep, take a walk, or otherwise experience life without media or technology of any kind.
How do you speak to yourself? What words do you use when you say stuff about your body? What words come to mind right now as you take a breath and think about someone who really hurt you recently? Hey, we all feel at times angry and use words to fully express that anger when we've been wronged, betrayed, deeply disappointed and saddened by someone.
The trick is to express, expel, release and rebound in a healthy way that moves through the negative emotion without hurting our selves or anyone else.
Because we're human we're complicated creatures.
Oh sure, at our core, and in our essential nature we're quite simple, but that's another article! Suffice to say that to get to that simplicity of nature, because we're a rather dense planet not completely filled with the light of higher vibratory energies, we need to go through the emotional spectrum as a way to gage how we're feeling about something or someone.
And as a way of knowing how our life is going, what's working for us or what's not working.
So I'm advocating choice and self-awareness, because if we choose to be alert and discerning with our words, we can literally shift our lives for the better right here and right now.
Without even changing or altering your circumstances, you can realistically shift your perception on a given experience by choosing the way to think about it that serves you better, and consequently, feel better.
And when you feel better, you attract better circumstances to you.
Try it.
Try to think of a situation you're living now that doesn't feel so great, and flip it around, change it up, shake it loose so you can put a different spin on it using different words to express to yourself the lessons you're learning, the gifts you're receiving from it that help show you the contrast of what you really want.
It's actually a really cool way of learning to make a habit out of speaking nicely to your self and others.
And as my Mum always said to my sisters and I growing up, 'If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.
" It's not about pinching off your feelings, I took it to mean try and find a way to say something nice because then I'll feel better and so will the other person.
It's a non -confrontational and peaceful way of relating to everyone.
Well I took her words to heart, literally, and have always tried to say nice things unless there's nothing nice to say and then I quite enjoy the quiet that comes from saying nothing.
Over the years as a result, I've become quite an excellent very active listener, and have learned so much! Such a good listener that my clients often ask me if I'm still there on the other end of the phone it's so quiet and I'm not interrupting.
I'm not compelled to say, um hum, yes, go on, oh yeah, giggle or otherwise fill the little spaces when they come up for air between sharing's, I just plain listen.
It's an art form I believe, because we're unaccustomed to being still inside ourselves and comfortable enough to allow another their full range of expression without even thinking of what we'll say next or how to respond.
Trusting that we're wise and knowing creatures and through all our life's experiences to date no matter how old or young we are, will have at the tip of our mind and on the edge of our tongue the appropriate response because we're out of judgment and living from the inside out.
Now that's the power of words! Words that are spoken and words that are unspoken.
I have the opportunity every single day of my life to practice what I preach.
With clients I could choose to be harsh and hold them accountable for our joy work together in ways that push and surge them onwards towards their goals.
That's not my way because I find it too full of effort.
So I choose to inspire and surprise them with unique and creative ways of looking at their circumstances to the point where they often are drawn to their own ways of seeing, doing and being their best, solving a dilemma or expressing a place where they feel stuck with me as their witness.
With my daughter I could respond in the same way she speaks to me at times when she's not feeling her best or is frustrated with her website, her friends inability to live outside the box as she does, or with any number of little annoyances she experiences from time to time.
When she's in this state it's not her dad or brother she speaks harshly to, it's me.
Of course! And again I have a golden opportunity to either say nothing, rise up and go make us a cup of tea so I'm out of the line of fire so to speak, or look for the gift in the moment rather than feel the stings of her words too deeply.
The gift is that I am her soft place to fall, to project onto and to feel her way to a better place within, so she can get on with her life.
Oh it hurts because I'm only human, and sometimes I find myself saying, 'that's not nice sweety, can you be more kind, that really hurt".
Or I may shake my head and lightly say what a bitchy thing to say to me.
She inevitably just laughs and says something else, but because I don't meet her in that same place of tit for tat, the moment passes, I am inspired to go do a few more side crunches if she's commented on a little extra fat, and next thing I know she's enjoying one of the cats or pups with a new found happiness.
And it was easier for me not to push upstream, rather to let go and allow the space for something else.
There's enough tough stuff I have on my plate that I don't need to create heaviness or add to the drama of her moments.
Because they're her moments! I'm just a willing actress that plays a role in her life movie! I could go on by offering you a variety of times and people I get to practice what I preach about the power, presence and profound impact of words, but I know you get the picture! If you can find that place within where you are confident in who you are and can live lightly without attachment as much as possible, then you'll quiet effortlessly choose your words with care.
After awhile it becomes quite natural to simply be this way.
And you'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what you say really does matter!