Give and Take
Marriage relationships for some go smooth and easy, yet for others it is like going uphill twenty-four hours a day.
It takes a lot to make it work.
First you have two people that meet who are completely different in personality, family values, interests, etc.
They date for a while and get to know each others ways and learn to love the person for whom they are.
They love everything they do or say and learn to accept them because they are so happy and blind with love everything seems wonderful - no flaws, no problems.
When we get married and are now finally settled in, the shock of it all hits us.
It is an adjustment for the first year or so.
Although we thought we knew the person we married, things start to bother us and we admit to ourselves that we are irritated or annoyed with what our spouse does.
We try to ignore it, but like a blistered finger, it bothers us and we have to live with it until it heals.
We can not change what people are.
We can not change how people feel.
We can not change likes and dislikes of people.
We would like to change our partner so that he or she is molded and shaped like clay the way we want them to be, but it can not happen.
So we can not change them...
what do we do...
we change ourselves, the way we look at things and then overlook a lot of the idiosyncrasies of that other person that bother us.
We are not perfect...
nor can we claim to be, but we can improve ourselves with how we react to other persons, and in this case our spouse.
As the song goes "Momma said there would be days like this"...
how true it is.
As long as that person is good to you and you enjoy being in their company, that is the best way of overlooking flaws.
Some of us, including myself, have been married for 39 years or more and we should be proud that we can say that.
Both of us have given up a lot to get to where we are now...
we like the same things and what is even scary we often think alike.
So instead of walking up that hill alone and trying to change things, that probably will never change, try walking up that hill together and finding that you do have things in common that you never knew existed.
It takes a lot to make it work.
First you have two people that meet who are completely different in personality, family values, interests, etc.
They date for a while and get to know each others ways and learn to love the person for whom they are.
They love everything they do or say and learn to accept them because they are so happy and blind with love everything seems wonderful - no flaws, no problems.
When we get married and are now finally settled in, the shock of it all hits us.
It is an adjustment for the first year or so.
Although we thought we knew the person we married, things start to bother us and we admit to ourselves that we are irritated or annoyed with what our spouse does.
We try to ignore it, but like a blistered finger, it bothers us and we have to live with it until it heals.
We can not change what people are.
We can not change how people feel.
We can not change likes and dislikes of people.
We would like to change our partner so that he or she is molded and shaped like clay the way we want them to be, but it can not happen.
So we can not change them...
what do we do...
we change ourselves, the way we look at things and then overlook a lot of the idiosyncrasies of that other person that bother us.
We are not perfect...
nor can we claim to be, but we can improve ourselves with how we react to other persons, and in this case our spouse.
As the song goes "Momma said there would be days like this"...
how true it is.
As long as that person is good to you and you enjoy being in their company, that is the best way of overlooking flaws.
Some of us, including myself, have been married for 39 years or more and we should be proud that we can say that.
Both of us have given up a lot to get to where we are now...
we like the same things and what is even scary we often think alike.
So instead of walking up that hill alone and trying to change things, that probably will never change, try walking up that hill together and finding that you do have things in common that you never knew existed.