Dealing With Heartbreak - How to Deal With the Loss of a Spouse
When a marriage or relationship breaks down, the devastation that it causes is unthinkable.
The reason for the break up is individual in each case nevertheless they are all incredibly painful.
Both parties are losing something that they have entrusted love, time and effort into and whether you are the one ending the partnership or your spouse, there will be high emotions on both sides.
When the separation first occurs try not to panic.
Give your spouse some time and space to think about their decision to leave.
Where as you are in a deeply emotional state and desperately seeking answers he/she will also be going through emotional turmoil, although it will be of a different from what you are experiencing.
Your instinct will be to fight for them, tell them how much you love them and beg and plead for them to come home.
Stop! This will make things so much worse.
each of us has our measure of pride and respect so don't loose it all.
Sit tight, cry and surround yourself with the other people in your life that you care for and love.
None of them will be able to ease your pain but don't be alone at possibly the worst period of your life.
Once the crying eases and you are able to behave more rationally think about contacting your ex.
I suggest this for two reasons.
Firstly you may want to reconcile your relationship and secondly if no resolution can be found for your differences then you will obviously be seeking closure on the episode.
Be aware that you may never get the answers to your questions and that with closure must come acceptance.
Acceptance that your differences cannot be resolved and that you must move on with your life.
If you seek reconciliation then tread carefully as your spouse will mostly likely be on the defensive and be weary of any advances.
Be yourself and don't push the subject of reconciliation rather talk passively and show your spouse that you are not likely to fly off and get angry at the slightest word he has to say.
Listen carefully and be interested in what he has to say.
In today's society with the increase in the divorce statistics I believe that before any of us get to the point of no return we must exhaust all possibilities to save a marriage.
It is not something that should be discarded lightly.
But you say "marriage is hard and it takes work and I don't think we are strong enough".
Well why make it hard? Make it fun and enjoyable, replace the tears hurt and pain with laughter, joy and happiness.
Make it exciting! When something is fun and enjoyable it's easy.
Be forceful and play mind games then this will be a harder route and why on earth would you want that.
All of the above advice comes from my own mistakes and experiences and I hope that you will learn from them and strive to make yourself and your spouse happy.
Fight for the woman/man you love with everything you have.
The reason for the break up is individual in each case nevertheless they are all incredibly painful.
Both parties are losing something that they have entrusted love, time and effort into and whether you are the one ending the partnership or your spouse, there will be high emotions on both sides.
When the separation first occurs try not to panic.
Give your spouse some time and space to think about their decision to leave.
Where as you are in a deeply emotional state and desperately seeking answers he/she will also be going through emotional turmoil, although it will be of a different from what you are experiencing.
Your instinct will be to fight for them, tell them how much you love them and beg and plead for them to come home.
Stop! This will make things so much worse.
each of us has our measure of pride and respect so don't loose it all.
Sit tight, cry and surround yourself with the other people in your life that you care for and love.
None of them will be able to ease your pain but don't be alone at possibly the worst period of your life.
Once the crying eases and you are able to behave more rationally think about contacting your ex.
I suggest this for two reasons.
Firstly you may want to reconcile your relationship and secondly if no resolution can be found for your differences then you will obviously be seeking closure on the episode.
Be aware that you may never get the answers to your questions and that with closure must come acceptance.
Acceptance that your differences cannot be resolved and that you must move on with your life.
If you seek reconciliation then tread carefully as your spouse will mostly likely be on the defensive and be weary of any advances.
Be yourself and don't push the subject of reconciliation rather talk passively and show your spouse that you are not likely to fly off and get angry at the slightest word he has to say.
Listen carefully and be interested in what he has to say.
In today's society with the increase in the divorce statistics I believe that before any of us get to the point of no return we must exhaust all possibilities to save a marriage.
It is not something that should be discarded lightly.
But you say "marriage is hard and it takes work and I don't think we are strong enough".
Well why make it hard? Make it fun and enjoyable, replace the tears hurt and pain with laughter, joy and happiness.
Make it exciting! When something is fun and enjoyable it's easy.
Be forceful and play mind games then this will be a harder route and why on earth would you want that.
All of the above advice comes from my own mistakes and experiences and I hope that you will learn from them and strive to make yourself and your spouse happy.
Fight for the woman/man you love with everything you have.