Subtlety in Marriage
Subtle: perceptive, refined If I were not in a relationship, I wouldn't know why subtlety makes a marriage a healthy one.
Being in the relationship I am in now for the past 3 1/2 years (and counting) has enriched my outlook on love and life.
I might be on the wrong category but I intend this article for the couples who share love within the sanctity of marriage.
I may not be in the position to speak because I am not yet married.
However, my views cannot be underestimated, either.
My relationship with my boyfriend started out pretty ugly for me.
We were sweet at the beginning just like any other couple who were still starting out.
But as time passed by, we became more and more narrow-sighted that we failed to see the totality of each other's being.
Constantly, we would start up talking about trivial things only to end up in a heated verbal argument.
His words would pierce my heart.
I would strike back even harder.
But the childishness in us wouldn't allow us to firmly decide on a separation.
Break-up was an overused term in our relationship.
We broke up a thousand times in a span of 3 1/2 years.
That was not an exaggeration.
Given that we were very selfish and we hated to see each other belong to someone else's arms, we stayed committed.
Now that I look back, it was a good thing that we loved each other, even if in our own selfish and immature ways.
At present, the 2009 year has been a good start for the two of us.
The relationship is growing.
I maybe jumping on conclusions but I feel it's a different kind of relationship now.
I am still with the same guy.
Why am I talking about this? I am not yet married.
For marriages to work, I understand that there has to be a real commitment from each other.
My boyfriend has stayed loyal to me even during the rocky part of the relationship.
In the 3 1/2 years we've been together, I can barely remember the times we didn't fight.
For 3 1/2 years we were fighting.
It's just now that we are trying to change our personalities for the growth of the relationship.
If BF did not stay loyal, we would not be together now anymore.
What I'm saying is that in marriages, couples usually go through the 1st and 2nd years in hell.
That's the part they both awaken to their senses.
"He is not the man I expected him to be.
" "She is not the woman whom I thought would stay sweet to me.
" Negative thoughts would visit you.
If you don't stay committed, it's very easy to cheat from your partner in an effort to destroy the relationship.
I am no expert but in my relationship, the sad realization part of the romantic love has come to us in the 3 1/2 years.
We are now, ironically, in the stage where we are committed to make things work despite the weaknesses we've seen in each other.
Usually, couples only feel the sad part in the context of marriage already.
Sometimes being used to the sweet and lovey-dovey kind of relationship is no good when marital problems start coming in.
For me, marriages need subtlety to work.
Attitudes need to be refined.
If you are aware of your weaknesses, why shouldn't you be concerned about self-improvement? A truly mature individual ready for marriage needs to make compromises all the time in a subtle way.
If you are the boss at the office, don't expect you'd be the boss at home.
Work and Marriage don't have to work the same way.
It doesn't give you the right to be dominant over your partner.
Be subtle in making your wishes known.
Be straightforward, no going around the bush tactic, but please, be soft.
Any man would get irritated by a wife who acts like a machine gun.
The irony of life is that the more you ask for respect, the more that respect evades you.
Don't evade your responsibilities just because you have nurtured ill-feelings for each other.
Be subtle in all your actions.
Subtlety can go a long way.
Just remember that.
Me and my boyfriend are now practicing the art of subtlety in communicating with each other.
We don't throw tantrums that easily over petty little things we could easily avoid.
The very essence of our relationship is to help each other grow and achieve each other's fullest potential.
I guess now, we are truly learning in a subtle way.
Being in the relationship I am in now for the past 3 1/2 years (and counting) has enriched my outlook on love and life.
I might be on the wrong category but I intend this article for the couples who share love within the sanctity of marriage.
I may not be in the position to speak because I am not yet married.
However, my views cannot be underestimated, either.
My relationship with my boyfriend started out pretty ugly for me.
We were sweet at the beginning just like any other couple who were still starting out.
But as time passed by, we became more and more narrow-sighted that we failed to see the totality of each other's being.
Constantly, we would start up talking about trivial things only to end up in a heated verbal argument.
His words would pierce my heart.
I would strike back even harder.
But the childishness in us wouldn't allow us to firmly decide on a separation.
Break-up was an overused term in our relationship.
We broke up a thousand times in a span of 3 1/2 years.
That was not an exaggeration.
Given that we were very selfish and we hated to see each other belong to someone else's arms, we stayed committed.
Now that I look back, it was a good thing that we loved each other, even if in our own selfish and immature ways.
At present, the 2009 year has been a good start for the two of us.
The relationship is growing.
I maybe jumping on conclusions but I feel it's a different kind of relationship now.
I am still with the same guy.
Why am I talking about this? I am not yet married.
For marriages to work, I understand that there has to be a real commitment from each other.
My boyfriend has stayed loyal to me even during the rocky part of the relationship.
In the 3 1/2 years we've been together, I can barely remember the times we didn't fight.
For 3 1/2 years we were fighting.
It's just now that we are trying to change our personalities for the growth of the relationship.
If BF did not stay loyal, we would not be together now anymore.
What I'm saying is that in marriages, couples usually go through the 1st and 2nd years in hell.
That's the part they both awaken to their senses.
"He is not the man I expected him to be.
" "She is not the woman whom I thought would stay sweet to me.
" Negative thoughts would visit you.
If you don't stay committed, it's very easy to cheat from your partner in an effort to destroy the relationship.
I am no expert but in my relationship, the sad realization part of the romantic love has come to us in the 3 1/2 years.
We are now, ironically, in the stage where we are committed to make things work despite the weaknesses we've seen in each other.
Usually, couples only feel the sad part in the context of marriage already.
Sometimes being used to the sweet and lovey-dovey kind of relationship is no good when marital problems start coming in.
For me, marriages need subtlety to work.
Attitudes need to be refined.
If you are aware of your weaknesses, why shouldn't you be concerned about self-improvement? A truly mature individual ready for marriage needs to make compromises all the time in a subtle way.
If you are the boss at the office, don't expect you'd be the boss at home.
Work and Marriage don't have to work the same way.
It doesn't give you the right to be dominant over your partner.
Be subtle in making your wishes known.
Be straightforward, no going around the bush tactic, but please, be soft.
Any man would get irritated by a wife who acts like a machine gun.
The irony of life is that the more you ask for respect, the more that respect evades you.
Don't evade your responsibilities just because you have nurtured ill-feelings for each other.
Be subtle in all your actions.
Subtlety can go a long way.
Just remember that.
Me and my boyfriend are now practicing the art of subtlety in communicating with each other.
We don't throw tantrums that easily over petty little things we could easily avoid.
The very essence of our relationship is to help each other grow and achieve each other's fullest potential.
I guess now, we are truly learning in a subtle way.