When Divorce Can Be a Good Thing
I was the type of precocious child that parents hate.
I was a know it all and thought I had every right to be.
My mother hadn't quite finished growing up by the time she had me and my brother.
Her priorities were usually partying with friends instead of reading bedtime stories.
She didn't appreciate her oldest daughter telling her that she needed to buy groceries instead of cigarettes or that she had to pay the electric bill instead of going out to the bar and having drinks with friends.
Because of my mother's irresponsibility and poor money management skills, I became the parent in the family.
First to my younger brother and then eventually to my sister who came along 5 years later.
I would do my best to see that they were fed, even if that just meant macaroni and cheese (4 for $1.
00 back then!) or bologna and ketchup sandwiches (don't knock it until you try it!).
I think the first time I cooked for me and my brother was when I was 5 years old and my mother left me along with my 3 year old brother so she could play Yahtzee with her friend down the hall in the apartment building.
I would also make sure that their homework was done every night.
I was pretty good in school and very rarely had homework of my own which helped me to have enough time each night to help them.
On the rare occasion that my mother was willing to help, I'd always have to correct her mistakes.
School was never one of her strong suits.
Another major issue was that since rent was never paid on time, we would have to move two to three times per year.
These moves were always within the same three towns but it typically meant that I would have to change schools at least once a year.
As a matter of fact, I went to two different schools every single school year from kindergarten through eighth grade.
Because of the frequent number of school change, it was very hard to make friends.
I was almost always the "new girl" and had to deal with all that entailed.
Even if I was lucky enough to be back at a school where I had been previously, the few friends that I had made all made new friends while I was away.
I just didn't fit in with them anymore.
Finally, my mother decided to divorce my father when I was 12 because she didn't want to be the adult in the family.
It eased the emotional and financial burden on my family.
It allowed us all to finally prioritize the necessities and make sure food was bought and bills were paid.
We also finally had the opportunity to live in just once house for the next eight years.
I think it was wonderful that my brother and sister had the ability to stay in just one school for nearly their entire school career.
I'm not saying that divorce is the right solution for everybody but it isn't always the devastating situation that some people believe.
Every family needs to analyze their own circumstances and understand that it can often be the best solution to make sure that everyone is happy.
I was a know it all and thought I had every right to be.
My mother hadn't quite finished growing up by the time she had me and my brother.
Her priorities were usually partying with friends instead of reading bedtime stories.
She didn't appreciate her oldest daughter telling her that she needed to buy groceries instead of cigarettes or that she had to pay the electric bill instead of going out to the bar and having drinks with friends.
Because of my mother's irresponsibility and poor money management skills, I became the parent in the family.
First to my younger brother and then eventually to my sister who came along 5 years later.
I would do my best to see that they were fed, even if that just meant macaroni and cheese (4 for $1.
00 back then!) or bologna and ketchup sandwiches (don't knock it until you try it!).
I think the first time I cooked for me and my brother was when I was 5 years old and my mother left me along with my 3 year old brother so she could play Yahtzee with her friend down the hall in the apartment building.
I would also make sure that their homework was done every night.
I was pretty good in school and very rarely had homework of my own which helped me to have enough time each night to help them.
On the rare occasion that my mother was willing to help, I'd always have to correct her mistakes.
School was never one of her strong suits.
Another major issue was that since rent was never paid on time, we would have to move two to three times per year.
These moves were always within the same three towns but it typically meant that I would have to change schools at least once a year.
As a matter of fact, I went to two different schools every single school year from kindergarten through eighth grade.
Because of the frequent number of school change, it was very hard to make friends.
I was almost always the "new girl" and had to deal with all that entailed.
Even if I was lucky enough to be back at a school where I had been previously, the few friends that I had made all made new friends while I was away.
I just didn't fit in with them anymore.
Finally, my mother decided to divorce my father when I was 12 because she didn't want to be the adult in the family.
It eased the emotional and financial burden on my family.
It allowed us all to finally prioritize the necessities and make sure food was bought and bills were paid.
We also finally had the opportunity to live in just once house for the next eight years.
I think it was wonderful that my brother and sister had the ability to stay in just one school for nearly their entire school career.
I'm not saying that divorce is the right solution for everybody but it isn't always the devastating situation that some people believe.
Every family needs to analyze their own circumstances and understand that it can often be the best solution to make sure that everyone is happy.