When you hear someone say, "I hope you don't mind, but I have some criticism of your work I'd like to give you," does it give you the warm fuzzies or the icy chills? If you're like me, criticism isn't something you welcome with open arms.
When you're unexpectedly hit with critical comments from a stranger or friend, it can be difficult to hear the facts when all you hear is you messed up.
And if your critic is tired, hungry, in a hurry, or just inept at providing feedback, she may say things to you in a hurtful manner.
Make a Conscious Decision to be Strengthened by Criticism I learned long ago I wasn't very good at being criticized-especially when caught off guard.
I was sensitive and easily crushed by negative comments.
But I also knew what Friedrich Nietzsche said was true-- what doesn't kill me strengthens me--and I made a conscious decision to be strengthened by criticism, not hardened or weakened by it.
Getting criticized doesn't have to be an ego crushing experience.
We may not be able to control how others deliver their criticism, but we can control how we take it.
By taking charge of how you choose to hear and act on criticism, you'll move through difficult situations with grace and ease faster.
Three Terrific Tips to Make Criticism Work for You To set yourself up to use criticism to a positive end, you need to adjust how you relate to the world around you and how you relate to criticism.
1.
Decide the World is Friendly, Not Hostile How you view the world around you--as a friendly or hostile world-- will determine how you respond to everything else.
Make a conscious decision to see the world as a friendly place-- one that supports your health, happiness and well-being.
Choose to step around the intentions of those who mean to do you harm.
Stay focused on creating your own, positive, friendly world.
When you're on the receiving end of criticism, be intent to make a good use of the feedback, no matter what the intent.
Make a choice to be open.
Ask for and welcome feedback, and above all, always thank others for the feedback.
Be coach-able, and don't give others anything to push against.
So what if the other person's intentions aren't good? You can't do anything about another's intent, but you can be the master of your own soul, and influence your personal development, by deciding to accept all feedback as good.
This doesn't mean you must take to heart everything said.
It means you stay open to hearing, without resistance.
You choose to suspend judgment so you can decide later what to keep and what to let go.
2.
Reframe Criticism to be a Positive Tool Like most people you probably think of criticism as something negative and therefore something to be feared.
But did you know the original Greek word 'Kritikos' meant a neutral appraisal? Start by redefining criticism as information or feedback to help you grow, even if other people deliver it in a negative manner.
Deciding to reframe criticism as a positive learning tool helps you listen for personal growth tips instead of hearing personal attacks.
3.
Choose When and How You Deal With Criticism You can collect the information without dealing with it until you're ready.
Put off dealing with feedback until you're rested, fed, and relaxed.
Always put time between when you hear criticism and when you deal with it.
This gives you time to get out of the emotional fog created by receiving criticism, and allows you to think more clearly.
By choosing to see the world as a friendly place in which criticism is a positive tool you can choose to postpone dealing with until you're ready, you are on your way to turning criticism to your advantage.
Apply in Your Own Life Has someone criticized you recently? How can you turn that information into beneficial feedback to helps you develop?